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I'm new to gold investing.
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You could buy shares in a mining company, they could buy more mining tools to dig more gold, that would be an investment.
Buying gold itself is not really an investment. It's a good way to save. Bars and coins in a safe will never grow larger. You will likely have to pay for the safekeeping, so you will actually lose some. You can win against other hard goods like real estate, but that's because real estate is overpriced. Gold remains pretty steady.
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I've read a couple books on gold investing but they left out some practical stuff.
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What are the titles of the books you read? I wonder if you are getting bad advise. The only time I ever hear talk of investing in gold, it turns out to be pyramid gambling using DGC as payment processor. We see a lot of that around here.
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Can the bank open your safe deposit box without the renter being there? Is there a risk of it disappearing out of there?
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Generally speaking yes, a court can order a safety deposit box opened. It can be done with boxholder absent. A locksmith is hired to drill the lock out if the holder does not surrender the key.
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Do most gold owners have the physical gold?---I mean what is the point of having a receipt for it stored by somebody else? Doesn't that defeat the purpose? I read about it in a book on gold investing, but how many people actually do this?
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There are pros and cons to each approach. I think most gold bugs have both metal in hand and pooled accounts.
In your hand you can hide it and be most certain to keep it. Costs: manufacture, shipping, insurance, storage and assay on return. Not so easy as pools to get in and out of.
Metal in pool avoids those above costs. It's easy to trade in and out of. Some, like e-gold can spend directly to other account holders. That is useful in business. The downside is the risk of confiscation by government or other sort of theft. Some pools are safer in jurisdiction and operation than others. It depends on your needs. There are lots of choices.
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Is it necessary for the dealer to know your name? Wouldn't it be smart to pay in cash and not give a name? .....But how much would the typical seller (coin collecting place for example) have to sell at one time typically and would they be hesitant to deal in cash in the 10 to 100 thousand dollar range?
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We don't know where you live. Laws vary. Some banks will photocopy ID for the smallest gold coin sale. Some private shops will accept large cash and not even ask names. Your counry has some reporting law I expect. you might check into that.
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Can you get a discount in the transaction fee (per coin) if you buy a large number of coins at one, like 100 Gold Eagles for example
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Sure, you could expect a discount. Also, a 100 oz bar would be cheaper, but maybe not as useful to you.