Tell a Joke.

[Believer]

Originally Posted by MVP

You need help

How many times do I have to tell you people, It was a joke!!!

If my jokes keep going over your heads, try standing on a stool while reading them.

See if you catch this one while standing on a stool to see if it works ... OK?

Why do they keep a fire engine that is broke down over here at the fire station where I live?

Now here it comes be sure you are standing on a stool, I don't want to have to explain it!!!.... For false alarms that I call in..

[Lottololly]

Not a joke - but a funny link!!

http://www.metacafe.com/watch/72212/..._your_english/

[MVP]

Originally Posted by Believer

How many times do I have to tell you people, It was a joke!!!

If my jokes keep going over your heads, try standing on a stool while reading them.

See if you catch this one while standing on a stool to see if it works ... OK?

Why do they keep a fire engine that is broke down over here at the fire station where I live?

Now here it comes be sure you are standing on a stool, I don't want to have to explain it!!!.... For false alarms that I call in..

I knew you where joking. So was I. And that was a good one there. Here is another good one.



10 Husbands, Still a Virgin
A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.

On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."

"What?" said the puzzled groom.

"How can that be if you've been married ten times?"

"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be.

Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.

Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.

Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.

Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.

Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.

Husband #7 was in marketing: although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.

Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it.

Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it.

Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"

"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"

"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!"

Lol Nice Ones!!

[Believer]

These two good samaritians were out hunting with some other hunters and decided to separate into pairs. It was decided that if they got lost to find a clearing and shoot three times in the air and someone would come find them and lead them out of the forrest.

Well, sure enouth the two got lost. One went out into a clearing and shot 3 times in the air. After awhile, no one came. Again, they did the same thing, and again no one came. This went on for about 6 hours.

Then one said to the other, let's try it one more time, and the other good samaritian said, let's hope they come this time because we are almost out of arrows.

Again, must I say, this is a joke! Don't take it personal unless "the shoe fits"!

[Chadrew]

MVP nice one

One fine day, a bus driver went to the bus garage, started his bus, and drove off along the route. No problems for the first few stops - a few people got on, a few got off, and things went generally well.


At the next stop, however, a big hulk of a guy got on. Six feet eight,built like a wrestler, arms hanging down to the ground. He glared at the driver and said, " Big John doesn't pay!" and sat down at the back.


Did I mention that the driver was five feet three, thin, and basically meek? Well, he was. Naturally, he didn't argue with Big John, but he wasn't happy about it. The next day the same thing happened - Big John got on again, made a show of refusing to pay, and sat down. And the next day, and the next.


This grated on the bus driver, who started losing sleep over the way Big John was taking advantage of him. Finally he could stand it no longer. He signed up for body building courses, karate, judo, and all that good stuff.

By the end of the summer, he had become quite strong; what's more, he felt really good about himself. So on the next Monday, when Big John once again got on the bus and said, " Big John doesn't pay!"


The driver stood up, glared back at the passenger, and screamed, " And why not?"


With a surprised look on his face, Big John replied, " Big John has a bus pass."

[mulangren]

good joke

[laokun]

hahaha

[fulcanelli]

Two tomatos in a fridge:
1st: 'Hey, it's rather cold here, buddy, isn't it?'
2nd: 'AAAAAAAAA!!!!!! TALKING TOMATO!!!!'

[eXtremebiz]

2 tomatoes. A father and a son.

The son come back home.

The father throws a tomatoe can at the son and says:" I told you not to drink alcohol, your face is all red!!"